1) so dan... THAT'S why you never called me for a second date!

2) what the hell is texas holdem anyway? like, i know, but i dont understand when it became the big trend in cards... back in the day there was regular poker five card draw and i used to be able to school all your asses... now i apparently know jack shit.

3) my day with howie would have been reduced to five minutes after he realized that i'm not cool and he has better things he could be doing. and i wouldnt blame him.